Helen Murray | 2018
The strange and unexpected sense of comfort one feels the first time at a public bath, surrounded by naked strangers.
The cab driver rolled up to the curb and looked back at me to confirm the destination. I nodded my head quickly and he told me how much I owed. After I paid him for the long and expensive ride from Haneda airport, I clambered out of the small car. The second my entire body and all my luggage was safely out of the vehicle, he sped away down the quiet narrow street. I looked around, trying to find the door I was looking for. Once I found it and ascended the small stone steps I announced my arrival.
Knock knock knock.
I rapped on the door three times, glancing up and down the narrow street and I wondered if I had the right address. I must admit, I was slightly annoyed that they hadn’t come to pick me up at the airport, but as I looked around and noticed the empty driveway, I realized the family didn’t have a way to come get me. I was suddenly grateful for the man who had been waiting when my plane landed, holding a sign with my name and the name of my high school on it. He had been able to direct me to the taxis and explained to the driver where I was going. I think he said, “Yokohama,” but I couldn’t be sure. That’s where I had been told my host family lived, anyway.
Maybe they weren’t home. My flight had been somewhat delayed, and I hadn’t been able to contact them so I worried that they were out, bored with waiting for me or simply busy enough that they had things to do. I paced a minute, then decided to put down my duffel bag. I was about to sit down on the stoop when a girl about my age, I could tell despite the fact that I towered over her, opened the door. She looked me up and down for a moment, and then called to her mother, and that was all I could understand of what she said, because my Japanese wasn’t quite that good. Yet. Her mother appeared at the door and smiled. She opened her arms with uncertainty for a hug, and I did too. The embrace was comforting, if a little stiff. It felt like a new jacket, one that hadn’t been softened from time and wear yet. I wondered if it ever would soften. When she backed away she smiled again, and I couldn’t tell if it was genuine or forced, but it didn’t really matter. I smiled too, and introduced myself the way I had been taught to in class. She waited patiently as I did so, smiling at my attempt.
The whole exchange student situation is an awkward one, I had to admit, but my host family wasn’t about to say anything. The idea of inviting a stranger into your home would terrify me, so I appreciated being welcomed into theirs. The mother gestured into the house, beckoning me inside. I obeyed. Then she asked insistently that I take off my shoes, the request made obvious by the fact that she kept gesturing at my feet. I obeyed, and then before I knew it I was through the too-low entryway and sitting at the too-small dinner table with my host mother and my two host sisters.
My host mother appeared to be in her late forties, with her long straight black hair tied in a ponytail at the base of her neck. She wore loose fitting clothing, a long sleeve shirt and a long skirt, both in earth tones. She had kind brown eyes and wore little to no makeup. Before she sat down to eat, she made sure everyone at the table had what they needed. I tried to stand up and help her, but she shooed me away and told me to sit down, asking, yet again, if she could get anything for me. She introduced herself as Risa. I thought that was the most beautiful name I had ever heard. I told her so and she smiled at the floor.
My host sisters sat across from me at the small round table chatting. All I could really figure out about their conversation was that they were talking about school, because I heard the words school and homework and teacher as well as words I assumed must be names. They acted like I wasn’t there, except for when they glanced at me every few sentences, probably to check that I didn’t understand what they were saying. The one who was my age had her lightened brown hair in two braids and the younger one wore her hair in a sleek bob. When their mother sat down and glared at them they stopped their conversation and directed their attention to the stranger in their home. They introduced themselves, Mei was seventeen, like me, and had the braids and Sakura was fourteen and had the sleek bob. It was strange, I had felt more comfortable as they went about their normal dinner time routine than I did now, with their eyes all fixed on me. I didn’t quite know what they knew about me and what they didn’t, but it didn’t seem to matter because they asked all sorts of questions. They spoke quickly at first before realizing I was struggling. Then they slowed and simplified their questions. My answers were short, that was all I could manage.
“How old are you?” Seventeen. Mei excitedly pointed out that we were the same age.
“Where are you from?” New York. Sakura asked me if I had seen the Statue of Liberty, and when I said yes she asked me if I could tell her what it was like. She had always wanted to go to New York and see the sights, especially that one.
“What is your school like?” Small. The two sisters were jealous, telling me that their school was so big they didn’t even know everyone. I told them that sounded nice. They laughed.
“What do you want to study?” History. They were surprised by that one, asking me who’s history. I told them I didn’t know yet.
“What do you like to do?” I had a hard time answering that one, and said something generic like reading.
“How was your flight?” Long and uncomfortable. I painstakingly tried to tell them about a woman on the plane who stepped on my toes twice, but I don’t think I did a very good job because Mei and Sakura smiled, but not at the right times. They were just trying to make me feel better.
“Did you get a cab?” Yes, and it was expensive. Mei told me that most people in Yokohama at least utilized public transportation, and that it was often quite reliable. She promised to teach me.
“How do you like it here so far?” It’s lovely.
I started to worry that my food would get cold, and it looked delicious. Just as I had finished answering one question, another one was fired at me. It was all in Japanese, so I still had to think carefully while their questions came to them quickly and easily. Finally, my host mother told her daughters to stop asking me questions.
“Let her eat! She has been traveling for a long time!” And it was true. I had. The journey to Japan had taken more than 12 hours, and the leg room on the plane was practically nonexistent. I had used the time to read and study, and I probably hadn’t gotten up to walk around nearly enough. I still felt stiff and rolled my shoulders as I sat.
I met my host father later that first night, and he was a kind man who just happened to work most of the day. Kaito must have been exhausted, he told me his commute was 2 hours each way, but he still made sure I was comfortable before going to sleep himself. They had prepared a bedroll for me in a room adjacent to the living room. Kaito explained as best he could that I would have to put my bedding away each day to make space in the small room. I didn’t sleep very well that first night as I was not used to being so low to the ground as I slept, but that soon changed.
Despite the rapid-fire questioning I had received upon my arrival, I quickly settled into a routine with my host family. I hung the washing to dry for Risa, after she showed me how she liked to hang things up. She made sure I knew where the socks went, how to pin the pants up to her liking, and how to make sure the shirts hung in a way that would leave the fewest wrinkles. Often, I watched the clothes blowing in the breeze as I sipped my coffee on their back door stoop. No one else drank coffee, they all preferred tea and had a whole cupboard devoted to all sorts of different kinds, but once my host family found out I did I found a can of instant in among the tea.
One Sunday my host sisters and I were sitting on the couch trying to figure out what to do. Just the other day Kaito took me down to the fishing docks to get some of the freshest fish I had ever had. As we watched the raw fish being sliced, Kaito confessed to me that he had always dreamed of being a sushi chef, but he never had the means to learn. Risa had taken me to the beach on one of her days off and we had read books and enjoyed the sunshine. Risa was trying to learn English and I was always trying to better my Japanese, so we had a little book swap. I helped Risa with words she didn’t know and she did the same for me. Mei and Sakura had taken me to their favorite shopping places, picking out some fashionable Japanese clothes for me to bring back with me. We’d been to all the good restaurants nearby, and we weren’t really hungry. I had also been to all the interesting sights nearby, even some that Mei and Sakura hadn’t seen, and as a history buff, the temples were my favorite. We were really having a hard time trying to plan our day.
“Have you been to a public bath?” Sakura asked.
A smile crept across Mei’s face and she exclaimed, “Ahh! We should take her! You always spend so long in the shower.”
I laughed at the observation. It was true. I did love a good shower, but I had never been to a public bath, and wasn’t really sure I wanted to. I didn’t even really enjoy bathing on my own. Soon, their voices began to overlap, competing for the attention of my ears.
“Do you have any tattoos?” Mei asked me, explaining that this was one of the most important rules. I shook my head.
“Don’t put your towel in the water!” An oddly specific rule, but Sakura made it seem important.
“Make sure you have a hair tie, your hair can’t get in the water.” Mei said, noticing that I didn’t have one and handing me one off her wrist.
“Make sure you wash before you get in. The bath is not for getting clean!” Then what’s the point? I didn’t vocalize that thought, however. There were so many rules and things to think about, but I decided to give it a shot.
Before we left Sakura gave me a hand towel and placed one around her own shoulders. Mei had one too. I had noticed that many people carried these around. Some people wore them on their heads as if to shade their eyes from the sun, some mopped the sweat from their brows with them. Sakura leaned in and explained that it was a gift. Risa had noticed I got rather sweaty. I thanked her. We walked outside into the summer heat, the black pavement had absorbed the heat and made it even more unbearable. I used the towel to shade my eyes and soon found it necessary to dab at my face. What a useful gift!
Our journey was comprised of what felt like an hour of walking and two bus rides. It was the middle of the day and the middle of the week, so the buses weren’t all that crowded compared to what I had seen already in my time here. They were nothing compared to the subway systems in New York that I had to navigate daily, however. I tried to explain just how crowded and complex the subway was to Mei, but I don’t think I did it justice. As we traveled I did my best to keep track of where we were and where we were going, but it was difficult and I eventually lost track and got lost in the amazing scenery. One of the buses went past the bay, which was truly a treat. I hoped I wouldn’t get lost. At that point, my Japanese was good enough that I felt confident I could make my way back to my host family’s house, but it would be tricky.
When we arrived, I decided to just follow what my host sisters did, which proved to be more difficult than I had originally thought. They went through the motions quickly, and I thought about what it would have been like to go to a public bath when I was a child. I wondered how many times they had been here, and how they felt the first time. They undressed as if they were simply about to shower at home, standing in front of the lockers, fully nude, chatting animatedly in Japanese that was too quick for my elementary knowledge of the language to be useful. I got caught up in my shirt as I pulled it over my head, tripped over my pants as I tried to take them off, and twisted my bra as I rushed to unhook it. The whole time I scanned the area, my eyes darting from corner to corner. Finally, I was free, kind of. Mei and Sakura glanced at me and asked if I was ready. As ready as I’ll ever be. I thought to myself, but nodded anyway.
I walked behind my host sisters as we entered the room where the bath was, “Don’t be shy!” Mei cajoled. Sakura giggled. The hot steam surrounded me, and I couldn’t tell if the moistness on my skin was steam or sweat. Probably both. Again, my eyes darted around to the various bath patrons but none of them looked back at me. After washing ourselves, we approached. The five other women there looked up at us, but only for a moment. I dipped my toe in first. It was hot. It was way hotter than the baths I ran for myself at home. I finally put one leg in, and then the other and slid gingerly into the bath beside the younger host sister. She laughed as she watched me get in, clearly used to the heat.
“Ahhhh,” the noise came out of me involuntarily.
“How is it?” Mei asked, splashing herself with the hot water absentmindedly.
“Not terrible,” I said, “I could get used to this,” and I slowly settled in, sinking further and further into the water.
“Watch out for your hair!” Sakura said.
“Oops!” I said, giggling, and then we were all giggling.
Sakura turned to me and smiled, “Moditess,” she said.
“What?”
“You are comfortable here. You didn’t think you would be,” she said, fiddling with the towel that covered her hair, “That is what we call moditess.”
“Oh.”
“I always wondered, why don’t Americans have public baths?” Mei asked me, thoughtfully. It was odd, I knew the answer, but couldn’t think of the words in either Japanese or English to explain it.
“I’m not sure,” I said, truthfully.
“You’re so quick to wear very little clothing in public, but not to be naked in front of others,” Sakura mused. She was onto something.
“You’re not wrong,” I said, shrugging, but I wouldn’t stop thinking about this ridiculous contradiction for a long time. I thought about it for the rest of my time in Yokohama. I thought about it as we explored more beaches, more historic sights, and even some zoos, which were really fun. I thought about it on the plane ride back to America, and I didn’t stop thinking about it when we touched down in New York at long last. Even now, I keep thinking about it.